Words of affirmation Valentine’s Day tradition
by FI Designer
In February 2020 I started a new Valentine’s Day tradition for my wife that is in line with our goals to be financially independent. The tradition is to write words of affirmation on a 3×5 note card every day for a month.
I do not consider myself a natural romantic but this practice has been a significant improvement in our relationship. My wife and I wanted to share this idea in case it could be helpful to others.
The credit for this idea goes to the ChooseFI Podcast episode 164R which discussed the 5 love languages. That episode was based on the Gary Chapman book The 5 Love Languages. The five love languages are:
- Words of affirmation,
- Acts of service,
- Quality time, and
- Physical touch.
My love language is physical touch. And like many men, my love tank requires much less servicing. While my needs may be more akin to a Honda Civic my wife requires regularly scheduled maintenance. Her love language is words of affirmation.
Hearing the love languages and identifying my wife’s language was helpful, but that alone may not have been enough for me to start a new habit of speaking her love language. The ChooseFI episode noted above went on to suggest a gratitude journal in which you write down something every day that you were grateful for about your spouse. Mic-drop, BAM!
Now that was a concept that I could hack my personality type to get done. I am an all-or-nothing person, and setting a goal to do it every day is something I could accomplish.
Every day for a month I left a 3×5 note card on my wife’s bathroom mirror. And on that card was a handwritten note containing words of affirmation. The act cost virtually nothing but made a big impact in refilling her love tank. So far I have continued this tradition every February since 2020.
Other Love Languages
The note cards worked well for a person whose love language was words of affirmation. It may not be impactful for a person with another language like quality time or gifts. ChooseFI Podcast 164R went on to suggest ideas for other love languages but they did not apply to my personal situation.
Call to Action
Please don’t stop here. Listen to the ChooseFI Podcast 164R and consider if some of this information can help your relationship with the loved ones in your life. And if you have any input or ideas that may apply to this topic I would love to hear about it in the comments below.
- ChooseFI Podcast 164R | What Are The 5 Love Languages?
- The 5 Love Languages book by Gary Chapman